A NEW BEGINNING

If you had told me a year ago, that creatively, I would be in the place I am now, chances are I wouldn’t have believed you. That being said, I owe a lot of my creative freedom and direction, to this blog. This blog has allowed me to create freely and encourage myself to do things that scare me, to take risks, and completely put myself out there. Which is why as I write this post, I am a little saddened. I am formally announcing that WILDLAND will no longer be active, FOR NOW.

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Photo by me

As I have so focused on my photography, I now have a portfolio website dedicated to showcasing my work. On that website there is a blog page in which I will be posting the occasional blog post or ‘zine. I think it’s a little funny how sad I am to be taking this break from Wildlands (ma10ia.com), because the platform I’ve had on here has given me the opportunity to meet and work with some of the most amazing people. It has creatively charged me entirely and I am so grateful. The blog will not be deleted, but any new posts will be on my new official site. This is not to say I won’t be back to my beloved WordPress site in the future, but it’s also important for me to grow as an artist and as a person. A huge thank you to all of you who have supported me from the beginning. www.photobymatenia.com is here, and I hope you love it as much as I do.

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What Patti Smith Taught me About Love.

**This post is not simply about one topic, it’s a little all over the place, but read I recommend reading  it anyway :)**

When I picked up a copy of “Just Kids”, I had no idea of the journey I would embark on. When I was younger, I always had this vision of what moving to New York and drowning myself in art would look like. I envisioned tiny apartments filled with people, paint covered sheets, rolls of film sprawled out on every open space. When I opened Patti Smith’s novel, I saw my own dreams sprawled on this pages. While it wasn’t all beautiful or happy, it was all real. It was authentic and I think that’s what I’ve been missing.

At this point in time I had a pretty bleak view on love. I think everyone goes through this at some point. Something happens and you swear up and down that love is fake or a myth. It’s not because you want to be cynical, it’s because you’re scared. To love someone is to be vulnerable and no one really likes being vulnerable.  You build walls around you as a way to protect yourself.

I really wanted to, but I didn’t  know if I believed in love (which is something I wouldn’t typically reveal because some would think it was strange). I remember reading about how Patti and  Robert Mapplethorpe met and how their relationship blossomed. There is nothing more beautiful than being introduced to someone by the person who loves them. I learned all about their escapades in Washington Square park or the fact that they exchanged art for housing at the Chelsea Hotel. I learned about their travels, together and separate. And how they both managed to live through their art no matter their financial situation or relationship status. I clung to their conversations, I underlined, highlighted, annotated, I scribbled in the margins, I fell in love.

I fell in love with their love and that was when I realized authenticity and love go hand in hand. Without authenticity, love is simply an illusion. It lacks a certain substance. Without love, life is dull–boring even. This realization has helped me to understand what is really important in my daily life and what I desire for the future. Because after all, life is about growth, complacency is dangerous.

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This was a short post, I know, but there a few things I’d like to encourage you to do.

  1. Find something that you love and make it a point to do it everyday.
    This could be writing, working out, running, taking pictures, drawing, anything in the world. Find what makes you happy. Hold on to that.
  2. Surround yourself with people who make you happy.
    I’m not going to go into detail, but this is very self-explanatory. Surround yourself with good people, who care about you. Who encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Tell them you love and appreciate them often.
  3. Love yourself, Love others, Be Kind.
    In the words of Yoko Ono, “Remember love. Remember our hearts are one. Even when we are fighting with each other, our hearts are beating in unison. I love you.”

Thank you for reading this rather messy blog post. Also, thank you to Patti Smith for being incredible and inspiring.(even though she’ll never read this)

All my love,
Matenia

**PHOTO NOT MINE**

“YOUTH” PREVIEW

Hello friends, long time no talk. I’m sure you’ve noticed I haven’t posted in a almost a whole month! This is because I have now started interning.

Recently, I have been piecing together the beginning of my new series, “YOUTH”.

This is a photo/interview series I created which began with one simple question, “Does youth really end?” This is about showcasing youth as it really is, exciting, painful, beautiful, ugly, and everything in between. The following video is just a few of the photos I have collected for this project.

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(the song is Garden by SZA)

I can’t wait to share all the photos and interviews with you!

all my love,

matenia

MANHATTAN / BROOKLYN 6.26.17

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I currently have 63$ in my bank account. Well, had, because naturally when I saw the number I walked over to strand bookstore and proceeded to purchase a 55$ book of photos by my favorite photographer at the moment, Ryan Mcginley. Now, you may call this poor impulse control, I call it a necessity for inspiration…and poor impulse control.

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I got on the L train from Union square, luckily it was a pretty empty subway car so I found myself a seat, pulled out a disposable and took pictures when we emerged above ground. I rode the train all the way to halsey street and decided to walk around bedstuy, disposable in hand, headphones in ears.

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I walked around the rows of townhouses, through clusters of cafes and vintage stores, around a park and a garden. I stopped for something to eat, but realized I only had 2 dollars in cash, so black coffee had to suffice. I sat and pulled out my copy of “the kids were alright” and studied the arrays of polaroids and film photos. It reminded me of the reason I started taking photos to begin with, to capture a raw image of what youth is, of what time is like now, for myself and those around me.

Sometimes I need days like this. I think everyone needs days like this. To re-inspire them, to remind them of why they love something and where their passion resides.

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my heart n soul,

matenia

IS THE GRASS REALLY GREENER?

In times of confusion, panic, and insecurity, I write.

I’m sitting in my tiny apartment in the heart of the village, finally in a city I’ve dreamed about since I was 8, but all I can think about are all the places that I still want to explore. After breaking a leg (don’t skateboard without shoes on) and having a surgery that left me literally laying on my ass all day, my mind was a whirlwind of places and faces and things to see.FullSizeRender.jpg.jpeg

I made lists and lists of places to visit. I reached out to friends who live around the globe securing places to stay. I looked at Airbnbs all around. This earth is full of beautiful architecture, people, fashion, etc. that I haven’t seen.FullSizeRender.jpg-1 2.jpeg

Am I missing it? Should I have signed a 12 month lease?

Does permanence mean comfortability?

 

 

 

 

 

I think it’s funny, I’m finally in a city I’ve dreamed of my whole life and I’m questioning it. I’m questioning if this is where I really belong. This makes me wonder if I’ll ever be completely content with where I am. Is there ever true bliss? Or is life always a “grass is greener situation”?

 

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Thank you for reading a bit of my mind.

all my love,

matenia

 

NEW SPACE & A PLAYLIST

This past week, I moved into my very first apartment. A huge change, but a very, very important one. Living alone is very new, but I’m s l o w l y learning that new, doesn’t necessarily mean bad.

I thought it would be fun to show you a bit of my new space.

Along with that, of course, a short lil playlist:

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Warm – Majid

100 Letters – Halsey

Shutter Island – Jessie Reyez

Heaven in Hiding – Halsey

Cocaine – Kiyo Cato

Promises – Wiz Khalifa

Same Drugs –  Chance The Rapper

Lie –  Halsey ft. Quavo

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The space is nowhere near completely finished, but I’m going to appreciate the minimalism in it while I can. The post is short, but I have something really exciting planned for next week, now that I’m finally moved in.

all my love,

matenia